Uncle Tim

We received a call early Thursday morning from my grandma telling us of my Dad's brother's passing. He died of what they think was a heart attack in his home late Wednesday night. Uncle Tim was a great man. He was always happy to see you and so gentle and kind, saying "well hello there" with a big smile. He's the kind of guy that was always very young at heart with big aspirations. We constantly talked of trips we'd take and the wild and crazy stuff he'd done. Uncle Tim was so excited when I brough Jeff into the famliy and welcomed him with open arms. They loved to b.s. at famliy functions about camping, hiking, skydiving and anything else that happens outdoors. He's been there for all of my kids birthday parties here and countless ones of my own growing up. I'm kicking myself for not backing up my files and having my computer crash (this week of course) when I have some great pictures of him and his famliy at Deagan's birthday party!
Losing Uncle Tim is another terrible blow to this famliy. Going through the grieving process again is especially hard this time around. It seems like just yesterday we were all in this same position dealing with my brother's death. I can't believe it was actually six years ago. Does the pain ever go away? Does it ever stop cutting your heart so deep? Like it just happened! I am a very emotional person, moreso since having kids, and I just can't handle certain things well. I re-live things so deeply in an emotional way and just have a hard time letting go, not moving on, just letting go. So I try not to let myself get wrapped into the memories, but this time it was inevitable. I had to dig through it all and bring Nick right back to the surface day by day what we went through. Memories I've tucked far away. And now, thinking of everyone else on my Dad's side of the famliy and all they have been through...I wonder can it get any worse? Can the pain of loss get deeper, I hope not in my life. It's just so hard to understand. So hard to attempt to try and figure out why things happen the way they do, but the sad part is that you really can't understand it or make sense of it.
The visitation is tomorrow, keep us in your prayers!
THANK YOU!