Grief. It's such a terrible word. Sounds awful. Sometimes it is, sometimes it's actually healing and happy. Even after 5-10-15 years, are you still grieving? Or are you just remembering? There has to be a better word that doesn't sound like someone just knocked your knees out from under you.
But then again, I guess that's how it feels sometimes. Like tonight, here I am editing at the computer and watching yet another season of "The Bachelor!" I wasn't planning on watching it this season, but I am for two reasons. 1) Jeff wanted to watch it with me the week before he left. And 2) There is nothing else on TV but a football game. So here I sit, listening to the drama. Little did I know that they would sneak in a little sorrow to pull at your heartstrings... and guess what? It worked!
There's the Bachelor, Ben, sitting with some girl watching home movies of themselves growing up. You see, Ben lost his Dad. And up pops a video of Ben's Dad speaking. (Oh the power of voice!) And the girl asks him, "When's the last time you heard your Dad's voice?"..... "Five years," he replies with tears streaming down his face.
Instantly I choke up and feel like a can't breathe (somehow I think I can hold back the tears by holding my breath, but it doesn't work).
Wow, how long has it been since I heard Nick's voice?
.... crickets ....
Ten years! Do I even remember what it sounds like? Yes. Of course I do. But just barely.
Gosh why aren't there more videos?
Then my brain flashes, flickers, and scans... why haven't I take more videos of MY kids.
I'm a photographer, I don't take videos, I take photos.
Crap, I need to take more videos!!!!
Monday, January 09, 2012
Sunday, January 02, 2011
The Traveling Carter's
6 checked bags, 2 carry-ons, 1 dog-in-a-bag, 3 kids and one rockin' awesome mom!
Thanks to everyone who made our travels home to Michigan so great for 16 days....
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Deagan's Detailed Art
So I went to the open house at the kids' school tonight to meet the teachers. When we walked into Deagan's classroom they had a stack of papers on his desk of his work to show the parents what he's done. There was a drawing of his "family" and one of his friends on the bus.... very detailed drawings! When I saw them I was laughing so hard I was crying. That's my boy!
p.s.- Tessa is the "belly" on the bottom left under Maverick that he didn't have time to finish!
So I went to the open house at the kids' school tonight to meet the teachers. When we walked into Deagan's classroom they had a stack of papers on his desk of his work to show the parents what he's done. There was a drawing of his "family" and one of his friends on the bus.... very detailed drawings! When I saw them I was laughing so hard I was crying. That's my boy!
p.s.- Tessa is the "belly" on the bottom left under Maverick that he didn't have time to finish!
So I went to the open house at the kids' school tonight to meet the teachers. When we walked into Deagan's classroom they had a stack of papers on his desk of his work to show the parents what he's done. There was a drawing of his "family" and one of his friends on the bus.... very detailed drawings! When I saw them I was laughing so hard I was crying. That's my boy!
Friday, September 17, 2010
Tessa and I hanging out
Miss Tess surely didn't like the turkey burger that I made her for dinner. She ripped the whole thing apart and sat there with this face, not eating any of it!
Me and Tessa after taking the kids to school.
Going for our morning walk.
Crazy hair, grumpy little miss... about 7am! Don't get up so early if you're going to be sooo grumpy!
Tessa's first oreo cookie
On Wednesday when Deagan and Olivia got off the bus (Deag's first day of full-day kindergarten) they came inside for a snack. I got Deag a special bag of mini oreo cookies to celebrate his first long day. So all three kids were sitting at the dining room table eating a snack... Deag his cookies, Olivia her peanut butter crackers (every day) and Tessa a baggie of goldfish. I let Tessy sit at one of the "big kid" chairs next to Deagan. So Deag was chatting away about his day, using his flailing arms to explain things, leaving his baggie of cookies on the table.
Well sweet little miss decided to take full advantage of the situation and reach her sneaky little paw into his bag- taking the little mini cookies one-by-one. Deagan didn't notice, but Olivia and I did and were silently cracking up. Tessa, the guilty party, just kept cramming them into her chipmunk cheeks with this "holy cow these are amazing" look on her face!
Well eventually Deags figured it out and couldn't stop laughing!!!! At this point Tess had chocolate drool streaming down her face because she could hardly chew them in her mouth!
Sooo cute! I love my babies:)
Well sweet little miss decided to take full advantage of the situation and reach her sneaky little paw into his bag- taking the little mini cookies one-by-one. Deagan didn't notice, but Olivia and I did and were silently cracking up. Tessa, the guilty party, just kept cramming them into her chipmunk cheeks with this "holy cow these are amazing" look on her face!
Well eventually Deags figured it out and couldn't stop laughing!!!! At this point Tess had chocolate drool streaming down her face because she could hardly chew them in her mouth!
Sooo cute! I love my babies:)
Monday, September 13, 2010
Deagan's Art
Today in Kindergarten Deagan was told to draw the girls in his life. So here is his drawing of Mommy, Tessa and Olivia:)
Aren't we beautiful?
Little Gym, Big Girl
This morning Tessa and I went to a "Little Gym" and took a Mommy and Me class. I took one with each of the older kids and they LOVED it! Tessa did too.... It's a gymnastics, song-singing, make new friends kind of class. She didn't care for the instructor too much and certainly didn't want her touching her to help learn the equipment (insert Tessa shooting daggers with her eyes and daddy eyebrows) but all in all she had a great time! It's for kids 12months-18months so all little midgets, boy were they cute!
Sunday, September 12, 2010
A new chapter begins
Well the honeymoon is over.... Jeff left on a 6-7 month deployment today:(
It's a sad day here in the Carter house! We have lived here just a month shy of a year, and let me tell you we have LOVED every minute of it. Really, honestly and truly, this has been the best year our family has had. Perhaps it's because we were together, all of us in our complete family. We really love his area. This is my favorite house that I have every lived in, it's amazing. It's perfect. We love our neighborhood and the people in it. And we have all made some amazing friends here, quickly. Like I said, we have loved it here.
Well.... all good things must come to an end- or shall I say, new beginning?
With the kids in school and Jeff deploying our lives will be full of changes. The last time he deployed the big kids were 1 and 3. They really have NO memory of his deployment. So they really have no idea what to expect. We have prepped them as much as we can, but their spacial idea of time is not quite capable of understanding exactly what 6 months entails. But I think for the most part, they "get" it.
Jeff's send off wasn't exactly what we had hoped for either... Originally it was supposed to be Friday, around 2pm. So I was going to pull the kids out of school and we were going to take him to the air strip. They were going to be able to see the giant airplane and have a "proper" send off. Wellllllllll Friday got pushed to Saturday and Saturday to Sunday. Then Sunday was just all over the damn place! First 4:30 am, then 7, then at 6am "the flight crew needs rest, we are on a 12-24 hour stand-down".... excuse me, huh?
So we went back to sleep. Well not less than 20 minutes later he gets a call that says, "we are leaving NOW, on a fast track, be at the command in 30 minutes!" What? No! Wait, that's not fair! The kids were still asleep. So I had to bust them out of bed and wake them up to say goodbye to their daddy. There would be no airport trip, no seeing the plane, nothing. It was a total letdown after such a giant build up! So there we were, saying goodbye to Jeff at 6:30am, blurry eyed and in the rain. It sucked. Really, did they have to rush it? Did they have to not give time for the families to come say a "proper" goodbye and have a "send-off"???? It's nice to have the closure of seeing them get on an airplane... but hey, we've never had that... so what am I talking about? ;)
The kids took it VERY hard initially. Very hard. We spent the day in our pajamas. The whole day;) Watching movies, playing games, cleaning closets. It was a gray, rainy day and we took advantage of it and did nothing at all.
My good friend Lindsay, dropped by this morning with two bags full of goodies for us! It was just what we needed! Whenever the kids go to her house (Kamryn's) they devour her fruit snacks and chocolate chip mini muffins.... and that's exactly what she brought them! I think we downed the whole box within about three minutes. She also brought me my favorite things- a bottle of wine and a pint of Ben & Jerry's.... you gotta love good friends! Specially military ones who know exactly how you feel:)
All in all it was a good first day. First of many. And guess what blogger? I'm back;)
It's a sad day here in the Carter house! We have lived here just a month shy of a year, and let me tell you we have LOVED every minute of it. Really, honestly and truly, this has been the best year our family has had. Perhaps it's because we were together, all of us in our complete family. We really love his area. This is my favorite house that I have every lived in, it's amazing. It's perfect. We love our neighborhood and the people in it. And we have all made some amazing friends here, quickly. Like I said, we have loved it here.
Well.... all good things must come to an end- or shall I say, new beginning?
With the kids in school and Jeff deploying our lives will be full of changes. The last time he deployed the big kids were 1 and 3. They really have NO memory of his deployment. So they really have no idea what to expect. We have prepped them as much as we can, but their spacial idea of time is not quite capable of understanding exactly what 6 months entails. But I think for the most part, they "get" it.
Jeff's send off wasn't exactly what we had hoped for either... Originally it was supposed to be Friday, around 2pm. So I was going to pull the kids out of school and we were going to take him to the air strip. They were going to be able to see the giant airplane and have a "proper" send off. Wellllllllll Friday got pushed to Saturday and Saturday to Sunday. Then Sunday was just all over the damn place! First 4:30 am, then 7, then at 6am "the flight crew needs rest, we are on a 12-24 hour stand-down".... excuse me, huh?
So we went back to sleep. Well not less than 20 minutes later he gets a call that says, "we are leaving NOW, on a fast track, be at the command in 30 minutes!" What? No! Wait, that's not fair! The kids were still asleep. So I had to bust them out of bed and wake them up to say goodbye to their daddy. There would be no airport trip, no seeing the plane, nothing. It was a total letdown after such a giant build up! So there we were, saying goodbye to Jeff at 6:30am, blurry eyed and in the rain. It sucked. Really, did they have to rush it? Did they have to not give time for the families to come say a "proper" goodbye and have a "send-off"???? It's nice to have the closure of seeing them get on an airplane... but hey, we've never had that... so what am I talking about? ;)
The kids took it VERY hard initially. Very hard. We spent the day in our pajamas. The whole day;) Watching movies, playing games, cleaning closets. It was a gray, rainy day and we took advantage of it and did nothing at all.
My good friend Lindsay, dropped by this morning with two bags full of goodies for us! It was just what we needed! Whenever the kids go to her house (Kamryn's) they devour her fruit snacks and chocolate chip mini muffins.... and that's exactly what she brought them! I think we downed the whole box within about three minutes. She also brought me my favorite things- a bottle of wine and a pint of Ben & Jerry's.... you gotta love good friends! Specially military ones who know exactly how you feel:)
All in all it was a good first day. First of many. And guess what blogger? I'm back;)
First Day of School 2010, kindergarten and 2nd grade
Last Tuesday marked the first day of school for us here in Virginia Beach. This year Deagan will be starting kindergarten and Olivia will be in second grade. There was an open house the week before where we were able to go in and meet their teachers. They both have new, young women who will be a great fit for them! Both very, very nice women. The kids were every excited on the first day. We walked to school with Deag's buddy, Kamryn and her parents. The kids went right in and got into the groove. Deag had one "look" of nervousness, but he did just fine. We are looking forward to this school year!!!!
First Day of School 2010
Deagan on his first day of kindergarten!
Miss Second Grade
Our babies are so big!
With Mommy walking to school
Deag and his best buddy, Kamryn
Friday, September 03, 2010
Oh Earl....
It was too close for comfort, and ironic that it was around the 5th anniversary of Katrina.... but I'm happy to report that we suffered zero damage from hurricane Earl! All we got was a bit of rain and wind. The Nor'easter was worse...
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