The Day Has Come

Black bags as big as me all over the living room. Stacks of brown t-shirts and black shorts, all the same. Everything labeled "carter." Black boots. Clean pressed camouflage uniforms. Headphones, ipod, laptop... all of the essentials for curing boredom.
The bathroom clear of any sign that a man lives there, all that's left is fruity sweet smelling girly stuff. The house is spotless after countless hours of work getting it ready to put up for sale. Just another sign of it's emptiness. It's now less of a home and more of just a house. A dead weight that we want so very badly to get rid of. Because as soon as it's gone, we can all be together again.

That's right. Jeff has left today for his military duties. He'll be in Chicago for a few weeks, we really don't know how long. Then he'll hopefully get a few days break before reporting to Virginia. He'll be in Virginia as his home base, and hopefully ours, but we won't know his real schedule until he gets there. Everyone keeps asking how long it will be before he's deployed. The answer: Who Knows! He's got a lot of training courses to go through before he can be thrown back into the mix. But I will keep you updated.

As for the kids, they are doing good. We've been so busy over the last few weeks getting ready for Jeff's departure that we haven't really been able to understand what's going on. Olivia completely understands what's happening, and has shed her fair share of tears. And I'm sure more to come as the realization sets in that he's not just working late, he's entirely not here. Deagan on the other hand is only three and has absolutely zero concept of time. He thinks Daddy is at work. And that's just fine. We'll see how long that one rides out... My worst fear is having to be "Mean Mommy and Nice Mommy," where they love me and hate me all the same because I'm the only cop in the house! We're working on that. They are used to taking advantage of me and really listening to Jeff. But things have been on an upswing for the last two weeks as I have been preparing them for me being the only disciplinarian and lover in the house:) Let's hope it works!

As for me, well I was fine until I sat down to write this blog! Now I've shed a few tears:( Not because of anything in particular, but because I can foresee the long days in the future. The part that hurts the most is to see the kids hurting. Olivia was crying before school today and I thought I wasn't going to be able to send her. But I knew that the two of us would be in a downward spiral all day if we let ourselves sulk. I'm used to this, or so I tell myself. Even though this time it's COMPLETELY different. For now, I have my family close to me and my best friends too. I've got a business to occupy my time and soon A BABY. I should enjoy this honeymoon before the baby arrives.... because then the reality of being a single parent will really set in!

Well I didn't take any pictures this weekend with Jeff, because I wanted to enjoy our time. But I hope to when he gets to come home for a few days in between Chicago and Virginia.

Thanks for all of the love and support:)