Tonight was the first night of Grey's Anatomy. If you are anything like me, you have been counting down the days all summer until tonight. There is something powerful about this show, powerful enough to move you. It makes you feellike being a better person, it makes you question your life and the way you live it, it makes you love what you have and work hard to get what you don't. It's just a great show. If you haven't watched it, try and you'll see.
So tonight the show started off with a silent bang, one of my favorite Dixie Chicks songs. If you know it, you heard it, if you don't, you didn't. But it's an amazing lullaby that they wrote for their kids, and I just happen to sing it to mine all the time:)
At the end of last season Denny died. It was emotional yes, but tonight- for me- was way more emotional. Sometimes somethings bring you right back to a certain situation. For me tonight it was back to the day my brother died and the first time I saw him for the last time. (it's about to get pretty deep and pretty mushy, so stop reading if you're not into it).
Anyway, when Dr. Bailey was sitting in the waiting room waiting to identify Denny's body it brought me right back to Chelsea hospital, June 17th, 2001. There is something about that breathless feeling of seeing a body and the anticipation of knowing that picture will be stuck in your mind forever. The breathless silence that sticks with you. If you don't know what I'm talking about, lucky you. If you do, God bless you too!
"A split second changes your life and before you know it, you're someone else." and it's true. When he died I instantly became someone else. Not by my own doing, it just sort of happened. I instantly grew up. I instantly felt the weight of the world on my shoulders. Being his only sister, I'm all they had. Everyone else that is. I felt like I couldn't be carefree anymore, because God forbid I died right after my brother. God forbid I fail at something and let anyone down. Granted this feeling only lasted a little while, but still it was there. My bottom dropped out and I felt like I had to be the strong one.
Like izzy said tonight, "I was happy to play any part if it would make everyone feel more comfortable." So I did. I played the strong, solid sister; though not invincible. And it helped me to get through the shittiest part of my life.
Anyway, nuff of the sappy stuff. I just wanted to tell you how much I LOVE LOve Love this show! I am thrilled it's back and look out Thursday nights here I come. I'm sure I'll have more sappy blogs to post next week;)