It's a day that comes every year, just like many others. And it's a day that I silently fret the night before it comes and then hold my breath the day of. I don't know why, I just do. Something tells me that some day it's going to happen again, on this day. And it scares me.
So I've come to discover that my blog is more than just a blog, it's a diary. It's a reference point for me and my mommy brain to remember things. And I look back and read it frequently to think about what I was doing or how I was feeling. And I don't think I've ever done a post about nine eleven, so I'm going to remember it now, for me.
I can remember CLEARLY where I was and what I was doing, as I'm sure most of you can too.
And I still cry for those people, seeing the memorials on TV. Knowing how it feels to lose someone and guiltily thankful that I don't have to mourn my special someone with 3000 others, in the presence of media.
I'm happy that they do things for them and happy that the world remembers them, but sad for the families that are forced to relive it. On my day, I can do what I please, with privacy and those poor families will forever be followed during their day by reporters and cameras.
I remember leaving my 8am class to see 3 missed calls from my mom and 2 from my roommates, all freaking out because I wasn't answering my phone. And I knew something must be up to get that many calls before 9am!
So I rushed home and turned on the TV, and that's where I stayed for the rest of the day and many more to follow.
I was surrounded by my friends at MSU and we all sobbed. I remember the shock and the horror when the second plane hit, then you knew it was on purpose and before that it was unclear. Then the towers crumbled- NO ONE thought that was going to happen. No one. It was deafening silence. That's when it was real. That's when we all knew that this wasn't an accident and that there would be more things happening!
I was living a jog away from a capital city and that was a threat. I remember my mom asked me if I would just come home and I thought to myself that I was way to scared to be on the road, by myself. So I stayed put.
I remember just how quiet it was. Everywhere. All over campus. Classes were canceled for a few days. And there were candle light vigils (sp?) held every night, we went to a few of them and one memorable one on the steps of the capital.
Just jaw dropping silence and utter disbelief! That's most of what I remember.
I still can't come to terms with the fact that this happened. In OUR country. And 3000 of our people were lost. It's perplexing on every level. And then nowadays to see all of the documentaries on it and how "they" did it and what really happened. It's unreal!
The events inspired my husband, any many others, to join our men and women in uniform to fight for our country... something most of us would never do. And I admire them for that, and for defending us every day!
Ok, I've said my peace and I'm starting to sound like a politician, good night:)
